Austin Hills 2010

The law with all it’s perfection couldn’t change me. It takes love. When Jesus came He opened a new era of closeness, He became Emmanuel and was -with- us. i.e. Abiding with us. So His love abides with us, and what is necessary is for us to abide in his love. There is no more fear of judgment because of His love. Why? Because His love has already changed us to the point where ‘as he is so also are we in this world’?

Does to abide in his love mean that we keep resting in the knowledge of that love? To let the fear and striving cease, and so to be changed by his love?

The source of power to change is his love. It’s not a show of power that will change our hearts. He aims to transform our hearts by love and not by a show of power as in the law. The show of power only generates the fear of judgment whereas the show of love begets love.

The motivation for change is also his love. We are no longer motivated to change based on a fear of judgment, which does not reflect the reality of Emmanuel, wherein we are motivated by His love for us.

To the Jews, there was always this sense of fear. So John had to correct this. For us, when we know His love, we will change. And we realise that we no longer need fear judgment, because love has changed and rescued us.

When it says that love is perfected with us, is it talking about God’s love or our love? If it speaks of God’s perfect love for us, then it’s all about knowing believing and resting i.e. trusting in that love -which is abiding.

The issue returns to the expectation that we are supposed to be exactly like him in order not to fear this judgment. How?

God, I don’t love you as I should. Your love for me in sending Emmanuel to abide with us should be more than enough to make me want to abide with you. That love should persuade and change and empower me. But I can’t stir up that sort of love now. Remind me of your love through your word. Cut me to the heart and return me to my first love. I need that motivation to love and that power to love. Help me to love you and be changed by that love. Please Lord, in Jesus’ Name and for His sake.

The beginning of the end of the long road

So I guess it took a few things together. The healing of time, such that there came a point where I was impressed to start praying again, whereupon came the coincidences of an occurrence for which I had lost all hope, an unexpected friend in unlikely places and the encouragement of a shared story not intended for me.

Then only, ever so slowly, I found the means to begin the upward climb again. I dare not dream yet, but at least there is hope again.

But you know…. To whom else should we turn? He’s got the words of eternal life…

Counting the cost before you pray this prayer

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

A new beginning

It’s time. Not because it’s the new year. Just a decision. So let’s begin afresh.

Ever noticed how loud silence is? The noise and bustle of our world is such a norm that when there’s a spot of complete silence, it’s unnerving. We drown ourselves in constant iPods, DJs, CDs but forget to listen… Unhook myself and launch into the deep if I could, to find a golden silence.

But there’s a dark silence. And for those who are used to asking and finding direction, seeking and finding present, the silence is violent and brutal. The pain is not circumstantial. It is the pain of apparent betrayal, of seeming abandoment. Dark foreboding skies and shrouded heavens.

Disappointment. Bitterness.
You are left to fend for yourself. Feeling framed, wrongfully accused, cast-off. Why bother listening when no answer is forthcoming. It is too painful. So you hide too. From everyone. Everything. And smother yourself with anger and hatred. You boil in your own scorn.

The shell slowly breaks open. You needn’t hide any longer, for everyone’s a stranger now. But in your pain, you are now capable, when you try, of empathy, for the hours of silence on Calvary.